The morning breeze is just awesome. It reminds me of my childhood days when we used to go downstairs to cycle or just frolick on the grass just next to the block of flats where I lived. To me the breeze is associated with a certain innocence and relaxation from that period of time. I feel at peace.
Milly just left about 10 minutes ago, and it was nice having a friend sleep over, although I'm not a good host. Sure, we're close and all, but it's difficult to tell her things sometimes, just because we're so different. Trust. Someone smsed me today and said she was disappointed that I didn't trust (them), and I felt really hurt by that. I really did like her a lot. Maybe I still can't trust. Maybe I still can't love. I did what I had to do yesterday; something I had been putting off just because I could, and the feeling was horrible.
I can't believe how much I can't share anymore. I thought I had become better at opening up. I still suck horribly. Peace? Maybe, maybe not.
Miss my family so much. Especially my father whom I haven't seen in months now. It's been crazy. I need to start writing again. No matter how worthless my thoughts are, no matter how short I write. Just start and keep going.
